My resolutions are going, albeit slowly, but still going. I went 3 days on plant products only and discovered some really delicious recipes that don't revolve around carbs. I went indoor rockclimbing and started going to a yoga and meditation class.
And yet, I still struggled at work the last few days. I'm finding the first day back after a few off is always hectic. So I should just expect that.
I had been caring for this cancer patient for quite a while, who was about to be discharged. But the morning she was supposed to go, I told the MD she hadn't urinated but once in 2 days and it was the color of soda. So dehydration kept her in. And that night she went to hospice. And the next morning she died.
I am deeply disturbed by this. In my selfishness I keep thinking about when I met her, and how he death has affected me, but then what about her husband and the family that have survived her? I cannot even imagine what they must be going through, although I macabrely try.
I recall Socrates monologue on death. He states it is nothing to be feared simply because it is unknown. Either religious people are right and you will be reunited with those who have gone before you, which is a happy occasion, or you just cease to be, and since you know nothing about it, it is like falling into a dreamless sleep- also nothing to be feared.
However, I tend to follow the Hinduism school of thought on the three things people truly desire: infinite joy, infinite wisdom, and infinite being. We desire to be. That desire is what keeps our species alive and keeps life propagating.
Before my first kiss I used to envision what kissing would be like with urgency and trepidation. I wanted to, but I was scared. I'd try to talk myself up to it, thinking, "Everyone does it eventually. So it can't be that hard."
And I take a similar view of death. It is appointed unto man once to die. If everyone must go though it, then it can't be that bad.
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